


Deus ex Machina

by orphan_account



Category: Bleach, Naruto
Genre: Crossover, Drama, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-02-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 09:32:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1079381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was a healer. Fighter. Friend. And now, thanks to Urahara, stuck in a completely different world until she finds her way back. Luckily, ninja die all the time, so finding a shinigami shouldn't be too hard, right? As long as she can stop bringing people back to life...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. desert fall

"Um, Urahara-san," Orihime said innocently. "Isn't this a strange place to hold a tea party?"

"Now, now, my dear Orihime," said Urahara from across the table. "Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

Orihime blinked and took a sip of her tea as she eyed their surroundings doubtfully. She'd received a letter yesterday inviting her to a " **ONE DAY ONLY: TRIPLE SSS**  ( **S** uper  **S** ecret  **S** pecial)  **EVENT!** " at Urahara's shop. With the Winter War over and all of her  _shinigami_ friends back at their posts, she had spare time to drop by. At first, she thought today was part of Urahara's training program, but the man had insisted he just wanted the 'pleasure of her company' for one afternoon.

So now they were sitting at a little table in his underground basement, surrounded by flat, gray walls and a tall, bare ceiling, sipping milk tea and eating raspberry-jam cookies covered with powdered sugar.

There was also, Orihime noted, a small metal box sitting innocuously in the center of the table. Knowing that the man would get to the point eventually, Orihime contented her stomach with another cookie from the generous supply.

Fifteen minutes later, when she was happily munching on the last cookie, Urahara smiled and snapped his fingers. Immediately, Jinta and Ururu emerged from a side door-the former pushing a serving trolley, the latter wearing a frilly pink apron. The pair did a quick job clearing off the tea things before retreating. Minutes later, they were back-this time with a trolley laden with a giant basket of sweet potatoes, gourmet cheese, and two jars of red bean paste and butter.

"What's this, Urahara-san?" Orihime asked between mouthfuls of cookie.

Urahara snapped open his fan and chuckled. "Your favorite foods, of course!"

"But...why?"

"Consider it a thank-you gift for a favor!"

"What favor?"

"Why, my dear Orihime, I thought you'd never ask!" Urahara closed his fan and flourished it at the metal box. "Behold, my latest invention! A portal to enter Soul Society!"

"...but Urahara-san, we already have portals to enter Soul Society."

Something glinted in the shopkeeper's eye. "Yes, and they're terribly inconvenient. If it's not paperwork to get a proper Hell Butterfly for the Senkaimon, then it's running for your life through the Dangai. And unfortunately, not all of us have the time to turn Arrancar and make Gargantas whenever we want."

Orihime gave the box a curious glance. "So, what you're saying is that with this box—"

"Ah! Not a box, my dear. A machine! A highly advanced mechanism of the foremost technological order!"

"Right. So with this machine, we'll be able to enter Soul Society?"

"Exactly! Wherever and whenever we want!"

"…isn't that illegal?"

"Not if I get it approved!"  _'Not that I will, but—'_  "Don't worry about the details, Orihime-chan! More importantly, if we succeed, we'll be able to save more lives with every crossing!"

That piqued her interest. "Really?"

"Yes! We'd save time, for one thing, and resources, for another, and inconvenience, for a third. All crucial when it comes to life and death battles!" Ururu and Jinta nodded vigorously in the background.

"Then…I guess I can help," Orihime said. "What do you need me to do?"

"Oh, just the usual," Urahara waved his fan merrily. "Reject reality as we know it."

In the end, the explanation bore down to three key points:

1) The box contained a miniature 'tear' in the universe that could access other dimensions.

2) In order to use the 'tear', Urahara needed Orihime to expand the opening with her shield to a reasonable size.

3) Once that was done, he would stabilize the opening and adjust the coordinates to match Soul Society, effectively creating a door that bypassed the logistics and bureaucracy of traditional crossing methods.

"Your Shun Shun Rikka is the key to expanding the opening, Orihime," Urahara explained. "We can't physically touch the tear, in case it sucks us in to the ends of the universe, but your powers, which reject everything, should be immune from its effects."

"How much do we have to expand it?" asked Orihime as she peered into the box. There was something dark and glittering resting in a very hogyoku-like crystal at the depths. Looking closer, she thought it resembled the night sky-jagged black, but speckled with flecks of white like stars.

"Nothing too dramatic. The height and width of a typical doorframe should suffice."

Now that the convincing part was over, Urahara was all business. He'd gotten Jinta and Ururu to set up a safety perimeter before dismissing them from the room. Only the box, furniture, and trolley full of food remained to keep them company.

Orihime studied the contraption for a few more moments before taking a deep breath.

"All right. Let's do it."

-ooo-

In the end, the process was easier than she expected, though slow. Very slow.

Orihime had started by calling on her fairies to form a miniature version of her usual three pointed shield, before sending the shield through the tear and letting it expand, pushing it outwards and upwards. There was some resistance—she was ripping the fabric of time-space, after all—but the task wasn't hard, and she was making steady progress.

Slowly.

The tear was about the size of a window right now. She needed it to be at least three times that.

"How did you manage to make this, Urahara-san?" Orihime asked.

"Oh, it was simple, I assure you," Urahara said, monitoring from a safe distance. "Add a bit of this and that, mix in some spiritual power and a little prodding—presto! Instant portal."

Orihime suspected it was more complicated than  _'this and that'_ , but didn't get to comment when Tsubaki barked at her to focus and put more power in her shield.

-ooo-

Some time later, Orihime finally managed to grow the portal to Urahara's specifications. The scientist gave a gleeful giggle and told her to wait while he set up the stabilizing seals.

' _It really is unreal,'_  Orihime mused, holding her shield in place while gazing at the 'door' she'd help create. At first glance, it looked like someone had ripped a hole in the air. Everything around the dimensional tear was completely normal—walls, floor and all. But once you saw the tear, it was like looking through a window—where the 'outside' was an endless expanse of black and shimmering lights.

' _I feel like I'm seeing the universe through a telescope,'_  Orihime mused, just as the tear gave a shudder and seem to freeze in place as strange rolls of paper covered in ink seals formed around its wispy, ragged borders.

"You can release your shield now, Orihime." Urahara's quiet voice cut into her thoughts. "It's done."

With a small sigh, Orihime dismissed her fairies, noting victoriously that the effort hadn't even tired her out.

"How are you dong?" Urahara asked.

"Mm…I'm feeling great as ever, Urahara-san!" Orihime turned to give him a broad smile.

"That's good to hear," Urahara nodded in approval. "Now, why don't we—"

He stopped abruptly as a low, rumbling growl reverberated through the room.

"What was that?" Orihime asked, senses alert. It almost sounded like a Hollow, but that was ridiculous, because—

"Orihime!"

She whipped her head towards Urahara. "What—"

—and stumbled back into the trolley, as another tear suddenly materialized in the floor beneath her feet with a low groan. It grew to the size of a manhole before Urahara froze its progress with another series of inked seals.

"This isn't good," Urahara muttered. "Looks like the portal's causing fluctuations in our time-space."

"I thought we stabilized it?" Orihime asked.

Urahara grimaced. "These two, yes. Who knows if there's more—"

He abruptly tensed and leaped to the side as more holes started materializing where he was standing, cursing as the edge of one caught a portion of his sleeve and dissolved it to nothingness.

"Put up your shield!" he barked, throwing seals at the new tears. "I've got a  _gigai_ but you're in your own body. Don't get anywhere  _near_ those tears. Get out and get Tessai!"

Orihime nodded, already encased in her shield as she spun around and ran straight for the door—

—or would have, if a gigantic tear hadn't suddenly opened up right in front of her.

"Ah—"

Unable to stop in time, she toppled straight into the portal, even as a roll of inked bandages raced after her in a futile attempt to pull her back—

There was a flash of blinding light and then she was falling, falling, falling….

-ooo-

The silence that reigned in the blue skies overlooking Wind Country's deserts was momentarily broken that afternoon by a low, rumbling roar.

The next moment, a section of the sky seemed to shudder, before violently ripping apart to expel a glowing golden object. It fell to earth with a whump, releasing a fine shower of sand, before the hole in the sky gave a groan and vanished from existence.

Orihime coughed as she sat up, releasing her shield in the process. She looked around her, blinking as she took in the surroundings, confused and a little bruised but otherwise unhurt.

So much sand…how did she end up in the desert?

"Are you all right, Hime?" Shun'o asked, while Ayame dusted sand off her shoulders and the other fairies fluttered in attendance.

"I think so." Orihime replied, looking herself over. "Where are we?"

The last thing she remembered was falling through the portal.

"Well, it ain't Soul Society," Tsubaki snorted from his perch on her head. "Better figure it out fast, before we fry in this heat."

The girl frowned as she climbed to her feet to get her bearings. There really was nothing around her but sand. Mounds and mounds of it, piled high in dunes stretching as far as the eye could see, coupled with blue skies and a scorching sun.

"Hello?" Orihime called hopefully. "Urahara-san?"

Silence. Not even a breeze stirred. It really was very hot…

"Woman, dismiss us before you tire yourself out," Tsubaki snapped. "We can't act as sunblock, and you need to find a way outta here."

"Right." Orihime nodded. In a flash, the six fairies dissipated and returned to the hair clips pinned on her school uniform collar, leaving her completely alone.

Feeling her frown growing, Orihime forced herself to calm down and concentrate. Closing her eyes, she slowly reached out with her spiritual energy, trying to sense any others that were close by.

' _What in the—'_

No. That couldn't be right.

How could the whole desert be filled with  _reiatsu_? Eyes flying open, Orihime cupped a handful of sand and concentrated, feeling it pulse back with an unmistakable signature of energy.

It...it wasn't exactly spiritual energy, or a soul or anything but…something told Orihime that the sand was, somehow,  _alive_.

How very strange.

' _Maybe this is an alien planet,'_  Orihime mused.  _'Oooo…that'd be cool. I've never seen aliens before! I could tell them to take me to their leader, just like the movies! Except in the movies it was the aliens coming to Earth…oh no, does this make_ _ **me**_ _an alien, then? But I don't even have a spaceship…'_

' **CONCENTRATE, WOMAN!'**

Orihime winced at Tsubaki's voice in her head.  _'Okay, can't get distracted yet.'_

Closing her eyes again, she probed further, trying to find something else, something  _different,_ from all the energy humming inside the sand. And slowly, she felt it—a hint of something more concentrated, somewhere to her left. But even as she tried to grasp it, it disappeared from her senses, before returning again in erratic spikes. It was like trying to catch a string that kept slipping out of her grip.

Slipping?

That wasn't good.

Brows furrowed, Orihime started running towards the source of the spiritual energy.

' _Please, please,_ _ **please**_ _let me be wrong about this…'_

She bit her lip.

' _Or if not, let me make it in time.'_

Someone out there was dying.

-ooo-

Orihime saw the large rock outcropping in the distance long before she reached them. That was the source of the fluctuating spirit energy, and her anxiety grew as the energy weakened further with each step.

By the time she scaled the outcropping, Orihime was panting for breath and the energy was down to the barest flicker. But she felt a spark of triumph nonetheless when she saw the form of a man lying facedown at the bottom of a pit.

He was dressed strangely, in large green robes(1), and had brown hair with a medium complexion. Still, there wasn't time to dwell on details as she lowered herself into the pit. Crouching by his side, Orihime touched the man and slowly, gently, turned him over so he was lying on his back.

She sucked in a breath. His breaths were shallow and ragged, his skin cold and clammy to the touch; more importantly, there was a gaping wound in his stomach that had soaked the front of his robes and turned them scarlet.

' _I can do this,'_  Orihime thought, holding back the sudden wave of nausea rising in her throat. Hadn't she seen worse during the war? Restored missing limbs, even? This was nothing in comparison. Only a flesh wound, at most.

Pausing only to glance at the face of the man—he looked to be in his late thirties—Orihime placed her hands above his abdomen and concentrated on calling forth her  _reiatsu._

Then, she began to heal.

-ooo-

He awoke feeling rested—more rested than anything else he'd felt in years. It was such a foreign sensation that for a moment he just stopped to marvel it, drinking in the hot, dry desert air that filled his lungs with every breath.

Then, something rustled to the right, and his instincts kicked in, calling forth sand towards the sound even as he bent his legs and elbows to flip onto his feet, stance poised to attack.

He heard the startled cry before he saw her: an orange-haired girl dressed in a gray jacket and skirt, staring up at him with wide eyes. For a moment he wondered why she wasn't trapped in a cocoon of sand; the next second, he had checked his chakra reserves and found them pitifully low, inadequate for his current purposes.

He stared suspiciously at the girl as she got to her feet, seemingly unfazed by his attention as she gave him a wide smile.

"Thank goodness you're feeling better," the girl said. "Any later and I'm afraid you wouldn't have made it."

Memories rose in his head then—the meeting with Orochimaru,  _that traitorous snake_ —their confrontation in this hole, the sickening feeling of betrayal and anger and blood pooling beneath his fingers as the sword was pulled out of his stomach…

Instinctively, he glanced down at his blood-soaked robes and felt his stomach with one hand. There was no pain, not even when he pressed against the skin, but there wasn't the sensation of bandages, either—and he breathed easily, almost as if…

…as if he'd never been stabbed at all.

" _Kai!"_  he murmured under his breath, trying to dispel whatever  _genjutsu_ the snake must have cast on him.

Nothing changed, except for the girl blinking at him.

"Um, hi to you too, mister. What's your name?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "You." A finger pointed menacingly in her direction.

"Speak, girl. Who are you and what did you do?"

To make things more confusing, he couldn't sense any chakra from the girl—either she was exceptional at masking her signature or just a civilian—which made no sense, because what would a civilian be doing here, in the middle of the desert, alone?

"Well, if you want me to go first…" Tilting her head to the side, the girl blinked again, before shrugging. "My name is Orihime Inoue. I found you injured, so I, um…fixed you up."

Impossible. He was—had been, he correctly himself— _dying_ from that wound. Nothing short of a miracle—or a medic like the Legendary Sannin Tsunade—could have brought him back from the brink of death. And this, this  _girl,_ with no hint of chakra, and nothing on her that looked remotely like a medic's kit, claimed that she had saved him?

He refused to believe it.

"What village are you from?" he asked, noting her lack of headband. Even her clothing were unfamiliar to him—they didn't match the garb of any of the Elemental Countries.

To his annoyance, she giggled— _giggled at_ _ **him**_ _, leader of one of the five Hidden Villages!_ —before replying, hands behind her back. "Oh, it's not a village—it's a city. Karakura Town. Have you heard of it?"

Certainly not, and he said as much. In response, the girl frowned. "I see. That's too bad…"

In the meantime, he was discreetly checking his body for any signs of Orochimaru's attack—and getting more and more disconcerted when he could find none.

Could it be that the snake had tricked him into thinking he was stabbed, and then replaced himself with this ridiculous illusion as a ways to lull him into lowering his guard?

"Um, mister, I still don't know your name yet." the girl spoke, "Do you know the way to the nearest town? Or even better, do you have a phone I can borrow? I'm actually…a bit lost."

He stared at her in suspicious silence, thoughts whirling in his head.

' _What is her purpose here? Who does she serve?'_

The girl seemed to sense his unease, because she put up both hands in a placating manner. "Are you feeling okay, mister?"

' _There's one way to find out,'_ he decided, before releasing a massive wave of killing intent.

-ooo-

Orihime frowned as she felt a slight chill in the air, wondering where it had come from. Well, deserts  _did_ get pretty cold at night, but right now the sun was still out.

' _Mister Robes doesn't look too good, though,'_  she thought, peeking at her companion, who had an absolutely ghastly expression on his face.

Along with the chill, there was a subtle pressure weighing on her that reminded her of the oppressive atmosphere between Ichigo and his opponents during the war. But she didn't sense any high spiritual pressures nearby—not even a run-of-the-mill Hollow—and so dismissed it as part of her imagination. Goodness knows Tsubaki and Tatsuki-chan were always telling her to tone it down.

-ooo-

' _She's not reacting.'_ he thought in disbelief, even as he held his death glare steady.  _'What kind of person_ _ **is**_ _she?'_

He narrowed his eyes and increased his intent to kill. In response, the girl rubbed her arms and looked around in confusion, before settling on him instead.

"Mister…you don't look too well," Orihime took a step towards him. "I think I should check your injuries again."

Sensing no ill will from the girl, he curiously allowed her to take one of his hands into her own. He watched as Orihime furrowed her brows before exclaiming in triumph.

"Aha!" she crowed, pointing to a small cut on the side of his thumb. "I knew I missed a spot somewhere!"

The next second, he was gaping in outright astonishment as his hand was engulfed in a sphere of soft golden light that closed up the cut and left flawless skin.

"All done!" Orihime said happily, patting his arm like an indulgent mother.

"What was that light?" he asked. It neither looked nor felt like any type of chakra he knew. The healing properties acted like medical chakra, but its sheer density was unlike any chakra he'd felt before—not even the esteemed Chiyo's  _Kisho Tensei_ had the feeling of such raw, potent,  _limitless_ power.

"It's my ability," Orihime said. "Um, but how I got it is a long story though…"

One that he would be  _very_ interested in hearing. But first things first…

"It seems that I have made a mistake," he said slowly. "If what you say is true, then I owe you my life."

' _And the snake shall pay with his own,'_ he added darkly.

"Please allow me to take you to my village as a debt of thanks." A rare smile cracked his features. "You shall be treated as my—the Yondaime Kazekage's—personal guest in Sunagakure."

' _And once there, perhaps the Honored Siblings can be persuaded to investigate this…mystery.'_

The girl—Orihime Inoue, he reminded himself—cocked her head to one side, puzzlement written over her features.

' _Of course,'_ the Kazekage mused.  _'I was found without my Kage hat. It's unlikely that she would have recognized me by appearances alone.'_

Most likely Orochimaru had stolen the hat off his body to hide the evidence of his murder.

' _It must be a great shock to her. Not many have met Suna's leader face-to-face.'_

"Er, Mister Fourth…" Orihime finally spoke.

' _That's the first time I've heard anyone call me "Yondaime-san."'_

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"…what's a wind shadow?(2)"


	2. intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our heroine settles into the Narutoverse, flies on a magical carpet (that's actually not a carpet), and conveniently raises her second person from the dead.

"Wow! We're flying! I thought only carpets could fly!"  _'And spaceships, of course. But since I'm an alien, they probably don't know what those are…'_

Orihime peeked eagerly over the edge of the mass of floating sand(1) currently carrying her and the Kazekage across the desert.

"How come we're not sinking through it? I'm not even getting any sand stuck in my shoes!"

The girl pounded an experimental fist against the mass of sand, surprised to see it hold firmly in place.

"It's like a rock! Are you a genie, Mister Fourth?"

"I am a  _shinobi,_ Inoue-san," the Kazekage replied. Unlike his companion, he was sitting cross-legged, arms folded as he focused on manipulating the sand.

"A ninja genie, then?"

"No. Just a ninja."

' _And the Kazekage,'_ he added mentally, because explaining that his title had nothing to do with 'painting with the colors of the wind' or 'talking willow trees' was hard enough the  _first_ time around. Who was ' _Pokehontas_ '(2) _,_ anyways?'

"Then why is your sand so sparkly?" Orihime asked. "Is it magical?"  _'I_ _definitely sense_ _something funny about it."_

"That would be the gold dust in the sand, Inoue-san. Gold tends to reflect light."

"But isn't gold really heavy? How could it float?"

"It's magnetic," he said, and left it at that. There was no need to reveal all the details of his abilities to this girl.

Apparently Orochimaru had not only stolen his hat, but all his cash and weapons, too. It was lucky, the Kazekage reflected, that he'd stored his soldier pills in a secret pocket. He'd taken one to replenish his chakra so they could fly to Hidden Sand and check on the status of his village.

' _I should make sure there's no Sound nin loitering about,'_ the Kazekage thought, using his chakra to mold a patch of sand into a Third Eye.  _'I'll send this off as surveillance—'_

A beam of golden light sped past his ear and  _shattered_ the Eye to pieces. To his credit, the Kazekage didn't even falter when he spoke to his fellow passenger.

"Inoue-san, what did you—"

"Don't worry, Mister Fourth!" her cheerful voice cut in, "I just destroyed the Eye of Sauron! The Dark Lord can't find us now!"

Once again, she was making no sense. The Kazekage stifled a sigh.

"That was  _my_ eye."

Silence. Then…

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"

The next second, he was an unfortunate victim of whiplash as the girl grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him back to face her.

"Which one is it? Let me see! I'll heal it right away!"

Vaguely, the Kazekage registered the fact that Orihime was surrounded by a troop of tiny, flittering peoplewith  _wings._ The sand carrying them dipped a few inches in the air before he recovered from the surprise.

' _Hallucinations.'_ he decided.  _'The soldier pill is giving me hallucinations.'_

"Ack! Mister Fourth, you have  _two_ black eyes(3)! D-did I hurt them both with one shot?"

"Idiot woman!" A tiny masked man shouted into Orihime's ear. "Think before you shoot next time!"

"Don't be mean to 'Hime, Tsubaki," A small blonde fairy replied. "She was just trying to help!"

"She should use her brain more often!"

' _The creatures are talking. What's more, I can understand_   _their speech…'_ the Kazekage realized in a mix of confusion and horror.  _'What are_   _they? Cursed humans? Contract summons? The results of some forbidden jutsu?'_

"Please, everyone, let's heal him first!" Orihime pleaded, and the  _little flying people_ dissolved in a glow of golden light as she cupped the Kazekage's face in her hands. Quickly and firmly, he removed her hands.

"I am fine, Inoue-san."

"B-but your eyes! They have no pupils!"

"That is their natural state when I am using my  _kekkei genkai._ "

"…'bloodline limit'? What's that?"

"It is something I am born with."

"Oh…" Orihime trailed off. "Then, you're not hurt?"

"I am physically uninjured." Mentally, on the other hand…

"That's a relief." Orihime exhaled and gave him a bright smile.

"What were those creatures just now?"

"You mean my Shun Shun Rikka?"Orihime blinked. "They're my fairies!"

"…fairies. _"_ the Kazekage deadpanned.

"My superpowers!" she snapped her fingers. "That's right, I haven't introduced you yet. Let me show you!"

In a flash—literally—of light, the six tiny winged people were back, sitting on Orihime's shoulders or hovering in the air around her head.

"This is Shun'o, and that's Ayame. They help me with healing!" Orihime said proudly, pointing to the blond and black-haired fairies, one of which made a shy curtsy.

' _They have…names?'_

"Lily, Hinagiku, and Baigon are in charge of defense. They do a great job!" Orihime continued, as the fairies in question murmured their thanks and greeted the Kazekage with a nod.

"Tsubaki attacks stuff, and—ouch!" The girl winced as the fairy in question blurred out of sight before dropkicking her head.

The Kazekage's eyes widened fractionally as he witnessed the attack.  _'That was shunshin(4). That was definitely shunshin!'_

"Woman! Don't tell your secrets to the world!" Tsubaki barked. "Use some common sense!"

"I'm sorry, Tsubaki…but Mister Fourth's a nice guy, honest!"

' _What's more troubling, his looks resemble a shinobi,'_ the Kazekage frowned, watching Tsubaki heap more abuse on his unfortunate charge.  _'He even wears a face mask…'_

The hot-blooded fairy caught the Kazekage's stare and flew until he was in front of the man's face.

"You," the fairy growled, pressing a tiny finger into the Kazekage's forehead. "You pick on the woman in  _any_ way and you'll have  _me_ to answer to, understand?"

"I have no intentions to harm her," the Kazekage replied, feeling far less composed than he sounded.

' _I_ _ **felt**_ _him poke me. How_ _ **could**_ _I, if these are just hallucinations?'_

"Hmph. I'll be watching you," Tsubaki growled, unconvinced. But he backed off, joining the other fairies. Meanwhile, the Kazekage closed his eyes, formed his hands into a seal, and concentrated with all his will.

" _Kai!"_

"What the heck's he doing?" Tsubaki said.

' _I still hear him!'_ the Kazekage thought, eyes squeezed shut.

"Oh, I think I know," Orihime replied. "It's how the locals say hello!"

" _ **KAI!**_ " the Kazekage said, louder this time.

A snort. "Looks stupid."

"You don't usually close your eyes, I'm sure…" Orihime's voice dropped into a whisper. "Come on, let's do it too. I think it's only polite."

"I still say it's stupid."

"Tsubaki!"

"Fine, fine…"

' _He's not going away.'_ the Kazekage frowned, wishing he had a kunai. Perhaps a nice hard stab into a thigh was what he needed to break the  _genjutsu._ He sighed and opened his eyes, just in time to see Orihime and her six fairies imitating his handseal with their fingers.

"KAI!" the group chorused as one in his face.

The mass of moving sand shuddered and dropped a good three feet before the Kazekage got his bearings.

"Wow, looks like there's a lot of turbulence today!"

_**WHAP!** _

"Owww…that hurt, Tsubaki…"

"Fool! How can there be turbulence without any wind?"

The Kazekage sighed.

-ooo-

Night fell by the time they reached Hidden Sand's borders. The Kazekage's Third Eye had secretly spied on the village from multiple angles before deeming it safe to continue. He commanded his sand to lower them to the desert floor within walking distance of the gates. As they touched the ground, the sleeping form of the girl behind him stirred and woke.

"Mister Fourth?" Orihime stifled a yawn as she sat up. "Are we at your village now?"

He gave her a brief nod. "We'll be walking to the gates," he said.

"Kay…" nodding absently, Orihime stood up, walked over, and grabbed a corner of his robes.

He arched an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Holding on so I don't get lost," Orihime explained. "My brother told me to do it when it's dark out."

"…I see." The Kazekage muttered.  _'How very…childish.'_ But it was sensible, so he left it alone. "Come, then." He made to move, but felt a tug on his robes.

"What's the matter now?" he asked, turning back—only to see Orihime hopping on one leg and pulling at her foot.

"I'm sorry, Mister Fourth," she apologized. "The sand keeps on getting inside so—there!" With her free hand, she held up two shoes and a pair of socks. "Now I'm ready!"

' _Walking barefoot through the desert? She's lucky the scorpions sleep at night.'_ He thought wryly. ' _At the very least, this means both her hands are occupied. She'll be less likely to attack me unawares.'_

Better to be careful, after all. Just in case.

He turned back and started walking, Orihime stumbling after him. After some thought, he carefully used chakra to smooth the sand beneath their feet, creating a path to ease her way. The girl was a strange one, to be sure. She couldn't be much older than his eldest, Kankuro, but the way she acted was on par with civilian children half her age.

' _Perhaps she is the pampered daughter of a wealthy family,'_ the Kazekage speculated. Most obvious was her manner of dress: unlike anything he'd ever seen before—and highly impractical in the desert.  _'But with powers like hers, it's astonishing that I've never heard of her before. Certainly someone would have noticed, with the way she parades her abilities in plain view of a stranger.'_

' _The girl must have been heavily sheltered all her life.'_ He decided. ' _She lacks experience with the outside world.'_ That would explain most of her naïveté. But to not even possess fundamental knowledge about the leaders of the ninja villages…!

' _I have not heard of a clan named 'Inoue' before. Perhaps she is part of a damiyo's extended family? A minor princess, or an unrecognized daughter?'_ Then she might have kept her mother's name, and spent most of her life in a compound, ignorant of common life.

"Inoue-san." he spoke.

"Y-yes?" the girl replied, startled at the sudden break in the silence.

"Do you, by any chance, know anyone of noble blood?"

"Um…" Orihime thought for a moment. "Well, I'm friends with Rukia-chan. I think her older brother's a noble."  _'I wonder if it counts if they're both dead, though…'_

"What's his name?"

"Erm…I don't think you're allowed to know. Yet." Orihime said.  _'Humans aren't supposed to know that Soul Society exists, right? I shouldn't say too much.'_

"Yet?" the Kazekage repeated.

"Well—everyone finds out one day!" Orihime said cheerfully. "You almost died, so I guess you  _half-_ count, but I still don't think I should break any rules! Just in case it gets you in trouble."

He frowned at her, but Orihime kept smiling. So he tried something else.

"Then, your brother. Is he a noble as well?"

"Ah…no. No, he wasn't…" Orihime trailed off.

"He's dead, then." He said, and Orihime sighed.

"Yeah…" Orihime mumbled, before taking a deep breath. "But it's all right. I met him once, and I'll find him again one day! I just have to keep looking!"

' _She speaks as if she can see the dead,'_ he mused.  _'What a strange child.'_

"What about you, Mister Fourth?" she asked. "Do you have a family?"

The Kazekage paused. His three children had been trained to be killers since birth. As their Kage, he expected them to obey orders and complete missions like any Suna nin. And the last one, his youngest—the boy was more monster than man, had been for years now. As for his wife and her brother…he'd sent them to their deaths long ago. A bitter smile graced his lips.  _'Do I have a family?'_

"Perhaps I did…once."

' _But now all I have are weapons. And one is a double-edged sword.'_

-ooo-

Soon enough, the sand gave way to sandstone. The Kazekage waited for Orihime to put on her shoes before continuing to the village gates. Many of the ninja had been deployed with his main force to help Orochimaru with his invasion, leaving a smaller force in the village. More would enter Konoha by the end of the month, ostentatiously to watch the Chunnin Exam finals. That wouldn't change. His men would still be at the invasion. They'd just be fighting on the other side.

Orochimaru was a dead man.

Such were his thoughts as the Kazekage showed himself to the gate guards, who gaped at the sight of their village leader returning so soon. Ordering them to keep his (and his guest's) presence a secret, he asked for two cloaks from the guardhouse. Raising the hood to cover his features, he told Orihime to do the same. Her orange hair was far too obvious.

Grabbing the girl by the arm, he ignored her cry of surprise as he  _shunshined_ them both to a specific house near the village outskirts. He walked up to the front door, noting the light seeping beneath it, and rapped sharply against the wood.

No answer.

Frowning, the Kazekage turned the knob and opened the door. He stepped inside a good-sized living room, Orihime following behind, and looked around. The first thing he noticed was the old woman sprawled on the living room floor, eyes closed and unmoving. As Orihime gasped, another door opened in the far side of the room, revealing an old man carrying a jar of something in one hand.

"Sister, I found the bean paste—"

He paused, taking in the view of the woman on the ground and the two strangers by the front door.

"It seems we have guests," the old man muttered. "Please, come in."

"But, the granny!" Orihime flailed, pointing at the motionless figure, even as the Kazekage shut the front door. "Is she all right?"

"Let me see," the old man said, calmly setting his jar to one side and crouching down to the woman's side. "Yes. It seems like sister is playing dead again. Come, Chiyo, wake up. There are guests!"

A pair of sharp eyes flew open, glaring at the old man peering at her. "You took too long, brother. I could have died from waiting!"

"You wouldn't, if it meant leaving me all your bean paste. Now, then." He stood up, and the old woman followed with a grunt. "To what do we owe the honor, Kazekage-sama?"

' _Lord Wind Shadow?'_ Orihime's head snapped back to her companion, who had removed his hood.

"What happened?" Chiyo asked. "Why aren't you in Konoha?"

"Honored Grandfather Ebizo. Grandmother Chiyo." The Kazekage bowed his head. "There were…complications."

"Bitten by a snake I take it." Chiyo growled, instantly divining the cause. "I knew it. It's no use trusting a traitor to his village."

' _A snake bite? I thought someone stabbed him…'_ Orihime mused, a little confused.

"He didn't kill you?" Ebizo asked.

"He nearly did." The Kazekage took off his cloak, revealing the bloodstain on his torso.

"Let me see." Chiyo was already marching towards the Kazekage as he took off his robes. A quick look revealed flawless skin beneath. She gave him a questioning glance.

"Fortunately, I was able to receive assistance in time." The Kazekage explained, glancing at Orihime, and Chiyo followed his gaze.

"Who is this?" Chiyo peered at the stranger. "Remove your hood. I can't see your face under all that cloth."

"Oh! Right, I forgot!" Orihime did as she was told, blinking under the sudden scrutiny. "Um…hello? Erm, sorry, I mean…" She quickly formed her fingers into a familiar seal and smiled. " _Kai!_ "

"Strange in the head, I see…" Chiyo muttered, before barking out. "What's your name, girl?"

Orihime did a neat bow. "My name is Orihime Inoue. Um, pleased to meet you, Miss Honored Grandmother! Mister Honored Grandfather!" Ebizo's lips quirked into a small smile, while Chiyo just frowned.

' _ **This**_ _is the one who saved you?'_ Chiyo gave the Kazekage a sidelong glance. "And how were you injured?"

The Kazekage narrowed his eyes. "He stabbed me with his sword. Poisoned, of course. I was bleeding out too fast. If she hadn't come…"

"You were careless," the old woman snapped, and faced Orihime again. "You did this?" She pointed at the Kazekage's stomach. "Healed him?" When Orihime nodded, she simply narrowed her eyes. "Show me."

"Show you?" Orihime echoed. "Um, but nobody's hurt…"

Without a word, Chiyo took out a kunai and cut a deep gash from her wrist to elbow. As blood began flowing out, Orihime gave a startled cry and grabbed the old woman's hands.

"Why did you do that?" she cried, snatching the kunai and throwing it roughly to the ground.

' _To find proof,'_ Chiyo was about to speak, but stopped when she felt a warm, golden glow enveloping her arm. To her disbelief, the wound stitched together and vanished within seconds before her eyes.

"…what is this?" she asked, almost breathless, before looking at Ebizo. He seemed equally flabbergasted. "I felt… _nothing!_ No chakra, and yet…" Still, there was a strange, unmistakable sense of  _power_ within that holy field.

"Inoue-san calls it  _'reiryoku',_ " the Kazekage offered. He was peering at Chiyo's arm with keen interest. "She says the powers come from her…'fairies', as she calls them."

Chiyo was ready with more questions, but stopped as she felt Orihime's hold on her falter. She gripped the girl's hands as she swayed unsteadily. Frowning, the old woman turned to the man.

"How long have you two been in the desert?"

"Half the day. Why—" the Kazekage's eyes widened as realization hit him.

"Can't you see that she's not  _shinobi_?" Chiyo snapped. "Brother, help me get this girl to bed. She needs rest!"

"Oh, d-don't worry," Orihime protested weakly. "I'm…I'll be all righ…"

Then the world began to spin in crazy directions and Orihime toppled back, surprised. Strong arms caught her, but they didn't stop the sensation of falling clouding her mind.

' _Oh my…I guess I'm more tired than I—"_

Darkness took over before she could finish the thought.

-ooo-

_The giant Evil Sandcastle was attacking Karakura Town and nobody could stop it! Orihime's eyes widened as the construct fired off one of its towers like a missile, straight at Ichigo in his shinigami outfit, standing on a nearby roof._

" _Kurosaki-kun, watch out!" she cried, even as the boy raised his sword to attack._

" _Getsuga Tenshou!"_

_The strike disintegrated the tower into clouds of scattered sand, and she felt her heart beat furiously in her chest as Ichigo gave a triumphant smirk._

' _So cool…' Orihime thought dreamily, but the moment was short-lived. The sand suddenly gathered itself into a giant wall around Ichigo, intending to crush him into pieces!_

" _NO!" Orihime cried, reaching out with both arms to unlock her Secret Robot Missile Mode. "Go and save him, guys!"_

_Her Shun Shun Rikka shot forth from her robotic arms as six rainbow-colored beams of light, swirling in a crazy pattern before honing in on Ichigo. They shredded the wall of sand to nothing and moved on to destroy the Evil Sandcastle in an explosion of rainbow sparkles. Orihime made an easy leap from her rooftop to his with her jetpack, eyes brimming with tears._

" _A-are you all right, Kurosaki-kun?"_

" _Inoue," the boy blinked, before shooting her a gorgeous smile. "You…saved me. You're my hero!"_

" _I will always protect you, Kurosaki-kun! Now hurry, we have to rescue the princess from the Evil Sand Whale!"_

"Wake up, girl."

Orihime's eyes flew open at the voice, only to stare up at a wrinkled face inches from her own.

"Wah—mmph!" she cried, too shocked to react when Chiyo gave her a spoonful of some cool, sweet liquid.

"That should do it," the old woman nodded, as Orihime coughed a few times before swallowing. "How do you feel?"

"Wha—ugh…" Orihime shook her head a few times. She was lying on a bed in a simple room with whitewashed walls, still dressed in her school uniform. Her eyes instinctively glanced down to check her collar for her hairpins; seeing that they were still there, she breathed in relief.

"Um, okay, I guess? A little tired, though…"

"To be expected," Chiyo said. "You've nearly exhausted your chakra supply, and your body wasn't responding to treatment. I had to dissolve a soldier pill and feed it to you intravenously."

"Oh." Orihime blinked, noting the needle in her wrist. Then she frowned. "…what's chakra?"

-ooo-

Chakra, a concentration of mental and physical energies, was the equivalent of  _reishi_ in this world. Everyone had it—but those with larger reserves or better control could manipulate it to do their bidding, like the ninja.

Every living  _thing_ had it too—from the rocks to the sand, from the flora to the fauna…a pulsing, steady  _beat_ of energy that Chiyo-baasan called  _'_ natural chakra' and cautioned her to avoid, since no one but Sages could control them effectively.

That was well and all, but what was Orihime to do when the food she  _ate_ had chakra too? She could sense it in the water and the grapes they gave her as refreshments; it was less noticeable in the cooked rice or soup, but swallowing those grapes gave an extra, prickly sensation in her stomach. She felt as if she was literally  _buzzing_ with energy.

' _ **Woman, stop bouncing around!'**_ Tsubaki hissed her mind.  _ **'You're attracting enough attention as it is!'**_

Orihime immediately slowed her steps when she caught a few faces staring at her and smiled sheepishly.  _'Sorry, Tsubaki. But I feel so upbeat today!'_

' _ **You're high, that's what you are.'**_ the fairy grumbled as Orihime giggled.

After an impromptu checkup and a light breakfast, Chiyo had declared in a surprised voice that she was perfectly fine. Now she was currently exploring Suna in some borrowed robes, working her way through its modest marketplace and stopping to look at whatever took her fancy. Mister Fourth—no,  _Lord Wind Shadow—_ had gone back to his office, leaving instructions that she was to be escorted by a pair of guards wherever she went. Chiyo, who had her own duties to attend to  _(read: brewing new poisons)_  and preferred privacy, had suggested  _(read: kicked her out)_  Orihime explore the village if she had nothing better to do.

This world was…strange. It had plumbing, and electricity (and even refrigerators), but no working phones to speak of. Or Internet. She saw a few computers, but they were just for file keeping and looked like old PCs from the '90s. And for some reason, fishnets and bandages were all the rage in fashion. Still, though…

' _I feel like a princess from Arabian Nights!'_ Orihime hummed as she picked up a pretty purple scarf from a stand.  _'Hmm, what should I call myself? 'Ori Mei of the Desert' has a nice ring to it…'_

"Would you like that scarf, Lady Inoue?"

Orihime nearly jumped as one of her ninja escorts materialized out of the shadows to stand beside her. "Wha—?"

"We have our orders," the ninja continued, "To indulge any and all reasonable fancies. A purchase can be authorized if it pleases you."

Orihime instantly dropped the scarf and shook her head frantically. "Oh no, it's all right! I was just looking, that's all."  _'I wouldn't want to owe anyone anything…'_

"As you wish, Lady Inoue." The ninja bowed—before disappearing from sight again. Orihime blinked, looking left and right until she hit upon the idea to sense for his reiatsu ( _'Chakra signature,'_ she reminded herself,  _'They call it chakra here, and it_ does _feel different from spiritual energy…'_ )—

—ah, there he was, up on the….neighboring building? Orihime looked up in surprise, feeling a flicker of recognition from the ninja as well.

' _They sure are fast,'_ she mused, before a woman's scream caught her attention.

-ooo-

There was blood. So much blood and people and whispers and oh—in the middle of it all, a woman cradling something, oblivious to the crowd around her.

"Somebody call a medic!" a voice cried hoarsely, and Orihime briefly sensed one of her ninjas running off at blinding speed as she pushed through to see what was going on.

The woman held a little boy—no more than six-years-old—with light brown hair and dark skin, his features choked in blood and dirt. Orihime was at the mother's side before she knew it, looking into the woman's frenzied eyes.

"What happened?" she asked, urgency making her voice firm and clear.

"My son…" the woman moaned, sobbing, "I didn't know—he was playing—alone, on the roof—"

"He fell off the roof?" Orihime asked, and the woman's cries intensified as she clutched the little boy to her chest.

"Mama?"

Orihime blinked, then looked to the side, where the same little boy stood standing with a chain sticking out of her chest.  _'That must be his soul…'_

"Why're you crying, mama?" the little boy said, trying to tug on the woman's sleeve. "I'm right here." When his hands passed right through her, he frowned, confused, before catching Orihime's speechless gaze.

"Onee-san?" the boy asked. "Why can't mama hear me?"

Orihime was saved from replying when two medic-nins arrived. One gently released the child from his mother while another knelt by the boy, soft green light emitting from his palms.

There was a pause, before the hands stopped glowing and the medic put his head to the boy's chest. Another pause, more physical checks—then finally, a meaningful look to his partner, who was standing by the mother. She nodded and took his place, doing the same checks, before giving him a look and slowly shaking her head. Her partner only hesitated for a second before speaking.

"I'm sorry, m'am. I'm afraid it's too late."

The woman's eyes widened as she swiveled to stare at the medics, before turning to look at her little boy. "What?" she began. "No—what do you mean?"

"There's nothing more we can do," the woman spoke, an edge of weariness in her coldly professional tone. She was staring at her hands, which were covered in blood. "There's no heartbeat. He's gone."

"You're lying, he couldn't be—" With an agonized cry, the mother flung herself over the body of her son, shaking him. "Not my son—no, not Tarou!"

"M'am, please calm down—" the female medic tried to pry the woman off, only to sidestep quickly as the mother flung out an angry elbow towards her face. Around them, the crowd began to whisper in low tones.

"Poor Yoshimoto-san—"

"—heard her husband died last month on a mission—"

"Isn't Tarou-kun her only child? And so young—"

"A pity—"

"No one left for her now—"

All the while, the soul of Tarou Yoshimoto stood by his mother, trying to get her attention.

"Mama, don't cry…you're scaring me," the boy pleaded, his face scrunched up. "Mama? I'm right  _here,_ can't you  _see?"_

Orihime heard enough. She made to step forward, but Tsubaki suddenly growled in her head.

' _ **Don't do it.'**_

' _Wha—Tsubaki? Why not?'_ Orihime asked, shocked.

' _ **He's already dead.'**_

' _But his Chain of Fate is still intact! There's a chance, if I heal his body—'_

' _ **Woman, do you want to go home, or not?'**_

' _Huh?'_

' _ **If he stays dead, the chain will break and a shinigami will come and get his soul,'**_ Tsubaki explained.  _ **'Then we can contact Soul Society, and you can go back.'**_

' _We don't even know if Soul Society exists in this world!'_ Orihime argued.

' _ **He has a Chain of Fate; that's proof enough for me,'**_ Tsubaki replied.

' _But if a shinigami doesn't come, we could end up waiting for ages!'_ Orihime insisted.  _'What if he turns into a Hollow? People could get hurt!'_

' _ **Same thing. We wait for the shinigami to show up. And we keep an eye on the boy in the meantime.'**_

Orihime shook her head. What Tsubaki said made sense, but…there was someonehere  _in pain_. She looked at the mother, crying over the small, small body in her arms, and found it easy to remember another girl, another time, crying over another body.

' _I can't just watch her suffer! Not when I can make a difference!'_

' _ **Orihime…'**_

' _Urahara-san will figure out a way to find me, I know he will!'_

' _ **You're alone here. What if something happens?'**_

' _I can take care of myself!'_

' _ **Woman, don't be stubborn—'**_

' _I_ won't _use a little boy just to get home!'_

'… _ **I know.'**_ There was a resigned sigh, and Orihime knew that she had won.

' _Thank you, Tsubaki.'_

'… _ **just shut up and heal him before I regret this.'**_

The medics were already calling for backup and trying to clear the crowd, having no time to comfort the grieving mother in their midst. Orihime walked over and touched the woman on the shoulder. She drew back as if stung, and clutched her child closer to her chest.

"Don't come any closer!" she shrieked. "I  _won't_ let you take him away from me!"

"I'm not taking him anywhere," Orihime said soothingly. "I just want to help."

"Young lady, you should leave," the female medic said. "There's nothing more you can do."

"Please, just let me try," Orihime pleaded, and looked at the mother again. "I promise I won't hurt Tarou-kun."

"It's not a good idea to aggravate—" the medic continued, but stopped when the mother pushed her son towards the orange-haired girl.

"Help him," she said dully. "Help my Tarou-kun. I…I just want to see him…smile again..."

xxx

"There's no way—"

"—medics say he was gone—"

"—' _no heartbeat'_ , remember? That means—"

"A miracle, that's what it'd take—"

xxx

"What's that yellow shield?"

"—never seen it before, doesn't look like medical chakra…"

"No, wait, look at that—?!"

"—he's breathing? Is it a trick of the light? But—"

xxx

" _Shhh!_ What's that, I think I heard—"

"By  _Kami,_ the boy's getting up—he's  _standing—_ "

"— _impossible—"_

"—how could this—"

"—he's  _alive?_ And look, no wounds—"

"… _Mama?"_

xxx

The crowd fell silent as the little boy spoke, his curious gaze on his mother. The woman sucked in a breath that was half sob, before crushing her son in a tear-soaked embrace.

"Oh! Oh, thank  _Kami_ , I thought I'd lost you!" she burst out, "My son…my little Tarou-kun!..."

The two medic nins stood frozen in shock at the spectacle, as the crowd exploded in excited chatter over the reunion. Orihime sat back and watched everything with a wistful smile.

' _Onii-san…back then, if only…'_

She shook her head furiously to clear her thoughts. No use crying over the past. And then her attention was directed elsewhere, when a hand rested on her shoulder. Looking up, Orihime saw the pale, disbelieving faces of two ninja staring at her.

"H-how did you  _do_  that?"

"Uh…"

"I've  _never_ seen chakra like that before! I couldn't even sense it!"

"Who are you? Where did you come from?"

"Um, I'm a…tourist?"

-ooo-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)'mass of floating sand' – Remember how Gaara and Lee avoided Kimmaro's field of bones by hovering above the battlefield on a seat of sand? Imagine that, only glitzier, for the 4th Kazekage's version.
> 
> (2)'Pokehontas' – *cough, Pocahontas, cough*
> 
> (3) 'two black eyes' – You know how the Kazekage gets panda eyes when he uses his Gold Dust manipulation? Yeah, Orihime doesn't know that, so…she thought she hurt him when she destroyed his eye of sand.
> 
> (4) 'shunshin' – Body Flicker Technique. Like the shunpo/flash stepof the Bleachverse.
> 
> A/N: Hey there! Surprise update of sorts. Still busy 'til June, but this was about finished, so I uploaded it. (The entire fic is more or less 100% outlined, so it's just finding time between work to actually write out, y'know, the chapters.)
> 
> All right, so timeline wise, this is set during the Chunnin Exams the Narutoverse* and around 17 months after the Winter War arc in the Bleachverse. But for the purposes for this fic, I'll be handwaving the Xcution Arc because it, uh, doesn't really matter for the story. So just assume that Ichigo got his powers back thanks to the Gotei 13, via Rukia's sword stabbing while she was patrolling the living world, minus all the Fullbringer drama.
> 
> (*A bit unclear on WHEN Snakey killed 4th Kazekage, so let's just say he did it in the one-month gap before the Chunnin Exam Finals and stuck with his disguise for a while, because I need time to make stuff happen with Orihime. So if I'm wrong, just pretend it's "AU good".)

**Author's Note:**

> (1)green robes – Yes, it's blue in the anime, but green in the manga and updated episodes….so green it is!
> 
> (2)wind shadow – Yea, Kazekage's literal translation. Orihime's going to have lots of fun with the local lingo…
> 
> A/N: Come on, admit it. You've wondered what a person like Orihime could do in the Narutoverse too, eh? Being friends with the shinigami? Raising people from the dead without Edo Tensei? Well, here's my take on it. This shouldn't be a long story, so I put it out here to get the plot bunny off my mind.


End file.
